The Binge Hangover

18 Mar

It’s the morning after a full-on binge and I feel like crap.

I’m  thirsty, my eyes feel itchy and puffy, my stomach feels like it’s been used as a punchbag, and my throat is sore. But, these are only the physical consequences. The worst part of a binge are the emotional repercussions. The feelings of worthlessness and disappointment in myself are unbearable. I feel helpless and am gripped with a sense of panic. I fear that I will never escape this binge-trap. I feel fat.

The intuitive eating was going well… until last night.  When the urge to binge reared its ugly head, I did all I could to distract myself for as long as possible. I painted my nails, tidied around the house, surfed the Internet… and then I caved. Numerous chocolate bars, packets of crisps and slices of bread spread thickly with cheese where consumed, amounting to thousands of calories.

During my binge, thoughts of tomorrow entered my mind. Plans on how I would compensate for the excessive calories floated around my head. In the past, I would eat very little in the days following a binge to try to make up for the extra food. But, I now know that this will only serve to continue the binge-restriction cycle.

Mindful eating gurus recommend that the day after a binge, you should return to your normal eating patterns.  They say you should be as kind to yourself as possible immediately after a binge because this is when you are at your most vulnerable. So, despite feeling overwhelmed with self-loathing, that’s what I will try to do.

Today is a new day, and with a heavy heart, I will struggle forward on my journey to become an intuitive eater…

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