Intuitive Eating: The First Day

14 Mar

It’s Monday today and my scary foray into mindful eating begins. Before beginning this journey, I weighed myself every morning. The ritual was: get up, pee, strip to my underwear and weigh.

The number on the scale was not just a number. It dictated to me what kind of mood I should be in for the remainder of the day. One pound up: depressed, angry with myself, feeling worthless.  One pound down: happy, confident, feeling worthwhile. No change: the never ending strive for weight loss continues.

But, for the purposed of this journey, I have banished the scales. I know what I weigh now, and plan to check in every month to see how this “trusting my body” affects my weight. Ultimately, I want to learn to be happy with my body, whatever it weighs.

I woke up hungry this morning and thought hard about what I wanted to eat. I asked my body, what would you love to eat now? It answered: “Chocolate please.”

So, I get up and eat four mini bars of milk chocolate. I savour them and stop when I feel satisfied, not full. I proceed to get ready & leave for work, deciding not to pack lunch. I’ll decide what to eat when Hunger resurfaces.

When it does, I go to the local mini-supermarket and stroll around the aisles, looking at the food, and wondering what to eat again. My body insists: “Chocolate.” So, I buy some organic, butterscotch chocolate and some more milk chocolate and eat that for lunch. I finish them off, and go on about my day.

Later, as I drive home from work, my head is pounding, and I am parched with thirst. My stomach is queasy and I feel nauseous. I am craving for the homemade soup in the freezer at home and I am craving for an egg on toast. But, I am not hungry.

So, I make the Other Half his dinner, and shower, willing Hunger to reappear. When it does, I heat up the soup and eat it with an egg on toast. It tastes so good, and as I swallow, I’m sure I can actually feel the nutrients nourishing the cells of my body. I eat faster than I normally would, and by the time I’m finished, I feel slightly more full than comfortable.

Lying in bed that night, my head is still pounding and my body feels polluted from the chocolate meals of the day. As I fall asleep, thoughts of the wholesome foods I am going to eat tomorrow fill my head. I look forward to feeling well again.

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