Archive | March, 2011

You Don’t Have to Work it Out Alone…

29 Mar

In recent weeks, I have come along leaps and bounds in tackling my distressed relationship with food. However, I do feel that self- help books and the Internet community can only bring me so far. Last week, (after my three day binge) I decided that I would need a little helping hand with my recovery.  So I began researching therapists in my area that specialise in eating disorders, and after finding an affordable one, I made an appointment. Continue reading

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Triggers and Labels, Swings and Roundabouts

28 Mar

Many binge-eaters have particular danger times, when they are more susceptible to succumbing to the Binge Monster. The weekend is a particular difficult time for me in terms of binging. Week in week out, I followed the same pattern of binging on one or two nights at the weekend, and then spending the rest of the week following a strict low-calorie eating plan to try to make up for the thousands of excess calories ingested. Continue reading

Craving Excessive Helpings?… Help Yourself Heal

24 Mar

I first learned about (and realised that I displayed symptoms of) Binge Eating Disorder on the Internet. Upon further research, I discovered that there is a wealth of information and support within the online community for people suffering with disordered eating. There are numerous forums and websites on the worldwide web, where one can obtain great advice while on the path to recovery.

Without the Internet, I would never have decided to try to tackle my own food demons. But, be warned that there is also a lot of misinformation floating around in cyberspace, so be sure to check that your sources are reputable before absorbing any “facts”.

Continue reading

Binges are Sirens, Ignore Them at Your Peril

22 Mar

 

Binges are like sirens, useful for drawing our attention to specific areas of our lives that may need to be  worked on. Looking back over the past five years, I can pinpoint specific binging incidents  and identify how they helped me cope with difficult situations in my life.

 

I remember one particular incidentwhen I was travelling to abroad to visit my dad.

Continue reading

Forgive Me Bloggers, For I Have Binged…

21 Mar

The feelings of guilt after my last binge were just too much to handle. I knew what I should have done post-binge: I should have forgiven myself, I should have identified the emotions that triggered the binge, and I should have resumed normal eating patterns.

But, the  overwhelming feelings of self-loathing overshadowed all rational thinking. So, to distract myself from this binge-induced self-hatred, I binged again. Continue reading

The Binge Hangover

18 Mar

It’s the morning after a full-on binge and I feel like crap.

I’m  thirsty, my eyes feel itchy and puffy, my stomach feels like it’s been used as a punchbag, and my throat is sore. But, these are only the physical consequences. The worst part of a binge are the emotional repercussions. The feelings of worthlessness and disappointment in myself are unbearable. I feel helpless and am gripped with a sense of panic. I fear that I will never escape this binge-trap. I feel fat. Continue reading

Intuitive Eating: The First Day

14 Mar

It’s Monday today and my scary foray into mindful eating begins. Before beginning this journey, I weighed myself every morning. The ritual was: get up, pee, strip to my underwear and weigh.

The number on the scale was not just a number. It dictated to me what kind of mood I should be in for the remainder of the day. One pound up: depressed, angry with myself, feeling worthless.  One pound down: happy, confident, feeling worthwhile. No change: the never ending strive for weight loss continues. Continue reading