In the run up to Easter, chocolate eggs were stacked high in every store around the country, leaving me with a slight sense of claustrophobia. Easter is a time of chocolate… and chocolate is a huge binge trigger for me.
I tried to focus my thoughts on intuitive eating. I told myself that if I overate slightly it would be okay, because “normal eaters” sometimes overeat on special occasions. But, this is the thing with a distressed eater like me: You know what the rational truth is, but you feel the total opposite.
Over the weekend, I ate more chocolate than usual and knew that this was a perfectly normal thing to do around Easter time. A normal eater would have went about the rest of their weekend without a second thought… but not me.
That irrational, but familiar guilty feeling kicked in and then the “all or nothing” attitude followed: I’ve had some “sinful” chocolate, so why not go hell for leather and eat circles around myself? And that’s exactly what I did. I binged – on more than one occasion.
After over a decade of categorizing foods as either good or bad, I’m finding it hard to suddenly change and immediately reject this mindset. I have contemplated cutting out trigger foods altogether, but I have done this in the past, and I believe that this is what led me to develop binge tendencies.
So for now, I have resolved to keep on keeping on. I know that moderation is the key. Now, if only I could act on it…